I am so angry and sad! The worst thing is, I do not know what is causing it. I am angry at everything!

I don't wanna stay home. I have no money. There is no where I wanna go. I am just lost in the sea of cars. Trap in traffic jam would probably be the best part about all this. It is the only time where I have an excuse to not face reality and say, "I am trap between cars. I have no where to turn."

I don't feel like meeting anyone or talk to anyone. I secretly wish that I am sick and there is people to take care of me. But even if I am. No 1 would. *exclude my mum.

Sometimes I wonder, if I am that horrible at being a human. Does that means I would be worse being dead?

It suck to feel only anger and not hatred. Sadness but nothing to be sad about.

Past...Present...Future

A year ago, I would say, "Ok, this is happening."


A year before that, I would say, "OMG! Is this really happening?! I can't believe it! I have to tell .......... *my bitches " >.<


A week ago ~ "This is getting out of hand. It feels untrue. Am I suppose to slap myself back into reality or just slap myself?! Or is this REALITY?!" *FREAK OUT!!!!


60 minutes before now ~ "I am afraid. I can't make myself not be. It is just there. No matter how hard I try, it just don't go away!" *long pause "I should chill. He is talking to me. Next to me. Telling me that he loves me. I should chill." "I CAN'T CHILL?! The more convince I am that he loves me, the more impossible it is for me to CHILL!" *its too good to be true


Now. ~ *still doesn't have the answer to all of my questions


Future. ~ Still would be fill with doubts by others. But does it matter?