"I am so tired of being good! It is not me! I do not obey to certain rules! I am going to hell! HAPPY!!!!???? I don't care what you have to say! I don't care if you don't like it! I will be who you want me to be! I will never be the girl you wish your son falls in love with!"
Those are the words that are boiling in me... I want so much to scream it out! But those words are not true. I will still always try my best to impress you, to make you approve of me, to make you like me more... I wish i won't go to hell. I care about your opinion, and i wish one day i would live up to your expectations.
Why am i crying??? Why am i sad??? Why do i wish that i could do it all over again???
Because i am sad. Because i screw up again and again. Because i wish i would have a chance to be a better person.
That will never happen. Each time i break down and cry, i have to take all my strength to wipe off my tears and smile again. I have to tell myself that i have already did my best. I am who i am, and i have no reason to change myself to someone i don't want to be.
But for now, make me invisible... I don't wish the world to see me. I don't wish to see myself. I just want to hide and cry like a little girl....
1 comment:
lets cry together...
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