Have you ever tried waking up staring at your computer screen and couldn't believe what you are looking at and wondering should you go hang yourself on the spot or just go back to sleep? In my case, I was leading to the sleeping zone but I did not manage to put my head back down to my pillow due to increasing death thoughts in my mind. So physically I was heading to sleep but mentally I was secretly hoping for death.
My result is bad.... REAL BAD! It is so bad that I am under probation. (the price I have to pay for enjoying in Genting) Now I have to drop two subject out of the 6 I am suppose to be taking this trimester. Will I end up graduating later than the rest of my classmates??? (not including Joyesh ~i hope) This SUCK! Worst of all is that I have no 1 to blame but myself! WHY!!!???? Why am I so dumb????!!!
Entering afternoon did not make my day better. I have to sit through Financial Accounting class under serious heat. There is no air-condition and there is only 1 stupid stand fan that doesn't turn. Thank goodness it ended in an hour. Went to SPB trying to bump into David but unsuccessful. Since I am currently out of credit, I couldn't contact him. I have to get my credit, and to students of MMU, they know that the only place to get credit in MMU is at Plaza Siswa using that stupid Kodak machine. (you will know why I call it stupid soon) It has always been a stupid machine but today it might just reach it maximum point of stupidity. We are suppose to get a receipt after we put in the money and done all the other procedures. For me today, I did not get mine! Why am I so mad over a receipt is because the top-up code is suppose to be on that receipt! Then I kind of trick a guy in buying a top-up without telling him my story. I know I shouldn't have done that but I can't help it. I was hot and sweating and wondering whether is there class or not later and my result and under probation. To be short, I was under tremendous stress! So there you go, I have cause that guy a RM 10 top-up. Although I have to say I don't feel guilty at all.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
A long-lost post...
As much as I want to deny all facts that is hurling towards me. I can't. It is too true. Too real. It has always been this way actually. Or maybe it is just the after effect from the last incident. We have moved on, but for some people, they might still be caught up in the past. It is sad to admit that we are losing something. Something or someone that used to be so important in our life is basically tearing up our heart.
My mind is telling me, I don't know this stranger standing in front of me. Whereas my heart keep telling me to say hi, hug each other, talk and all sort of things a person would do when they meet or see a long lost someone in their life. I have tried. It is just not the same any more. There is like a sign asking me to move on. It is not going to be the same again. No matter how hard I try to be normal about the whole thing, it just keep showing me horrid images of how this is going to end.
My mind is telling me, I don't know this stranger standing in front of me. Whereas my heart keep telling me to say hi, hug each other, talk and all sort of things a person would do when they meet or see a long lost someone in their life. I have tried. It is just not the same any more. There is like a sign asking me to move on. It is not going to be the same again. No matter how hard I try to be normal about the whole thing, it just keep showing me horrid images of how this is going to end.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Budak sesat kat bandar besar_Part 2
Hello! I am back! To tell you about my very "sua ku" story of me being in KL. Lets just start off from where I stop on the previous post.
To be honest, Euphoria, eh.....! Not what I expected, truth, I don't actually know what to expect. I have never technically step into a club before. But Euphoria does make Melaka's clubs look very awful. Lucky for us, its ladies night, so free entrance and 1 drink. We do get more luckier because there were no traffic jam, got a packing spot straight away and it was Ne-Yo's after concert party. Yes people, yes, there is a BIG however coming up. HOWEVER, the drink was horrid (vodka + sprite), my heels were killing me and worst of all, we didn't even get to see Ne-Yo! We waited till 1 a.m.! I know, you might think it is still early anyway, but we understand that Feliz can't stay out too late. So we left at 1 a.m. SAD! T_T Although, we did manage to catch a bite at Station One. (Well for them its a bite, for me, its a meal.) When we got home, Mag and I decided not to bathe before we go to bed. While, we were sticky as super glue! We did end up sleeping well anyway, so whatever! Feliz and Mag slept with the dog in between them. Each time I got startle up, I would look over to check if the dog has been squash dead or not. Fortunately, she survive the night.
Not surprising, we slept till 12 p.m. on the next day. I was rushing to get ready because I have to bathe (with no conditioner, which means harder) and get ready in less than half hour. For me, that is hard! I feel sorry that her uncle have to wait for me in the car. We went Feliz's mum's office after that. We ate lunch there and waited for her, while taking care of her dog for her. Soon it was 3 p.m. She decided to go KLCC to meet up with her boyfriend (Teddy). Well we followed along and meet up with David on the way at KL Sentral. Reach KLCC with a hopeful thought of tasting Chilli's food for the 1st time. BUMMER! We waited for almost 15 minutes before the waiter and the manager and the supervisor have to come over and 'thrown' us out because animals are not allowed. In fact, animals are not allowed in KLCC too. We did manage to finish our Subway sandwich, before we got 'thrown' out again. This time by the KLCC securities. Dave and I have to bring the dog out 1st, while Mag waited for Feliz to come back from roaming the food court for food. Trust me, Mag was piss!
After that we went separate ways. Feliz and Teddy wnet and do their things and we continue our shopping. End up taking the LRT to Kelana Jaya and waited for the Ikano free shuttle bus for an hour. (P.S. Feliz pass by us but she did not stop. SOBZ!) Arrive at Ikano at about 9:30 p.m. We went Brands Outlet for a little shopping and crocs after that. Mag were very excited to introduced Ikea's meatballs to Dave. So we all decided in a whole to go for supper at Ikea. Mag end up buying only a damian cake and a cup of soft drinks, whereas, Dave and I got the 15 meatballs, 5 chicken wings and a bottle of mineral water. So much for a small supper. Dave is crazy! He complained to us about how little is the meatballs and they should serve more in a set. Mag and I struggle like mad lady trying to stuff 10 meatballs into us. Now, there he is complaining. We did actually plan to go The Curve after that, but it was too late.
In the end, Feliz and Teddy drove to Ikano and fetch Dave and us home. It was a short day, so Mag and I, well, CAN'T SLEEP. So I created a game called the "Truth & Lie". (this is because we can't play truth & dare, we were too lazy to move) It is a stupid but fun game. Most of the things that I've told Mag would scar her for life. (she will never eat at my house again!) We finally came into a mutual agreement that we should sleep (at around 3:30 a.m.) because we have to wake up at 8 a.m. tomorrow.
There goes Day 2...
To be honest, Euphoria, eh.....! Not what I expected, truth, I don't actually know what to expect. I have never technically step into a club before. But Euphoria does make Melaka's clubs look very awful. Lucky for us, its ladies night, so free entrance and 1 drink. We do get more luckier because there were no traffic jam, got a packing spot straight away and it was Ne-Yo's after concert party. Yes people, yes, there is a BIG however coming up. HOWEVER, the drink was horrid (vodka + sprite), my heels were killing me and worst of all, we didn't even get to see Ne-Yo! We waited till 1 a.m.! I know, you might think it is still early anyway, but we understand that Feliz can't stay out too late. So we left at 1 a.m. SAD! T_T Although, we did manage to catch a bite at Station One. (Well for them its a bite, for me, its a meal.) When we got home, Mag and I decided not to bathe before we go to bed. While, we were sticky as super glue! We did end up sleeping well anyway, so whatever! Feliz and Mag slept with the dog in between them. Each time I got startle up, I would look over to check if the dog has been squash dead or not. Fortunately, she survive the night.
Not surprising, we slept till 12 p.m. on the next day. I was rushing to get ready because I have to bathe (with no conditioner, which means harder) and get ready in less than half hour. For me, that is hard! I feel sorry that her uncle have to wait for me in the car. We went Feliz's mum's office after that. We ate lunch there and waited for her, while taking care of her dog for her. Soon it was 3 p.m. She decided to go KLCC to meet up with her boyfriend (Teddy). Well we followed along and meet up with David on the way at KL Sentral. Reach KLCC with a hopeful thought of tasting Chilli's food for the 1st time. BUMMER! We waited for almost 15 minutes before the waiter and the manager and the supervisor have to come over and 'thrown' us out because animals are not allowed. In fact, animals are not allowed in KLCC too. We did manage to finish our Subway sandwich, before we got 'thrown' out again. This time by the KLCC securities. Dave and I have to bring the dog out 1st, while Mag waited for Feliz to come back from roaming the food court for food. Trust me, Mag was piss!
After that we went separate ways. Feliz and Teddy wnet and do their things and we continue our shopping. End up taking the LRT to Kelana Jaya and waited for the Ikano free shuttle bus for an hour. (P.S. Feliz pass by us but she did not stop. SOBZ!) Arrive at Ikano at about 9:30 p.m. We went Brands Outlet for a little shopping and crocs after that. Mag were very excited to introduced Ikea's meatballs to Dave. So we all decided in a whole to go for supper at Ikea. Mag end up buying only a damian cake and a cup of soft drinks, whereas, Dave and I got the 15 meatballs, 5 chicken wings and a bottle of mineral water. So much for a small supper. Dave is crazy! He complained to us about how little is the meatballs and they should serve more in a set. Mag and I struggle like mad lady trying to stuff 10 meatballs into us. Now, there he is complaining. We did actually plan to go The Curve after that, but it was too late.
In the end, Feliz and Teddy drove to Ikano and fetch Dave and us home. It was a short day, so Mag and I, well, CAN'T SLEEP. So I created a game called the "Truth & Lie". (this is because we can't play truth & dare, we were too lazy to move) It is a stupid but fun game. Most of the things that I've told Mag would scar her for life. (she will never eat at my house again!) We finally came into a mutual agreement that we should sleep (at around 3:30 a.m.) because we have to wake up at 8 a.m. tomorrow.
There goes Day 2...
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Budak sesat kat bandar besar _ Part 1
If I am a writer, I would write down every emotion, words can describe. But I am not a writer, so I could only use simple words and words that I have learn all my life till now...
Experiences are earn with the pay back of sweat, tears, fear, happiness, hurt and all the other bombastic words Magdeline can put in my mind. So as for now (according to my mum), I am in KL to learn my way, and my mum have assign Mag as her assistant to supervise me in my quest through KL for this 3 days. Trying to reach KL is already a challenge. Try keeping your pee in you for 1 and a half hour, and run down from the bus into Puduraya's toilet. It was quite an experience even though it is not the first time. Meanwhile, Mag have the abilities to manipulate my mind, making me feel and think like I am a lost fly in a big city. Trust me, it is not a nice feeling!
Journey to Mag's house is rather soothing, even though we have to go through jam-pack LRT + rushing in between LRT inter-change trying to catch the next tren + standing while trying so hard to keep the bag in my hand and finally, sitting in a very very HOT taxi. Mag's house was not as bad as I have in mind. Though something I saw in her room might scar me for life. (it have something to do with her brother, but MOVING ON) Before I realise that Mag was screaming at the top of her lungs due to the mess in her room (cause by her brother again), hunger is getting to me. I could hear my stomach grumble like a speaker blowing in my ears.
The first thing that come on my mind when the number 88 appear is usually superstitious chinese man walking in my mind. So I have never really like the number, because for me its kind of stupid. Today, number 88 have finally proof itself useful by transporting me to Ikea for my meatballs! I have lots of meatballs, lots of them. But because Mag have trick me into buying 10 meatballs instead of 5. Which cause a huge catastrophe to happen, I COULDN'T FINISH MY MEATBALLS! I shall and will hold the grudge on Mag for this for as long as meatballs exist.
Apparently calling Feliz to come to the meatballs rescue was a mistake. She just end up chasing us to pack those meatballs up because she have rush back to her mum's office before the jam in the so called "big apple" of Malaysia begin. Don't worry. We did make it back on time. Oh, almost forgot, Feliz brought a poodle (puppy) along with her when she was "coming to the rescue". I have to say, the puppy is really obedient. She can just snuggle up to any of our thighs and just sit there looking around. She don't even bark much. I think I am falling in love with her... Looking forward for her company tonight during our sleepover.
As for night plans, well its simple, 1 word, EUPHORIA! That story shall be in the next post... Stay tuned! ^_^
Experiences are earn with the pay back of sweat, tears, fear, happiness, hurt and all the other bombastic words Magdeline can put in my mind. So as for now (according to my mum), I am in KL to learn my way, and my mum have assign Mag as her assistant to supervise me in my quest through KL for this 3 days. Trying to reach KL is already a challenge. Try keeping your pee in you for 1 and a half hour, and run down from the bus into Puduraya's toilet. It was quite an experience even though it is not the first time. Meanwhile, Mag have the abilities to manipulate my mind, making me feel and think like I am a lost fly in a big city. Trust me, it is not a nice feeling!
Journey to Mag's house is rather soothing, even though we have to go through jam-pack LRT + rushing in between LRT inter-change trying to catch the next tren + standing while trying so hard to keep the bag in my hand and finally, sitting in a very very HOT taxi. Mag's house was not as bad as I have in mind. Though something I saw in her room might scar me for life. (it have something to do with her brother, but MOVING ON) Before I realise that Mag was screaming at the top of her lungs due to the mess in her room (cause by her brother again), hunger is getting to me. I could hear my stomach grumble like a speaker blowing in my ears.
The first thing that come on my mind when the number 88 appear is usually superstitious chinese man walking in my mind. So I have never really like the number, because for me its kind of stupid. Today, number 88 have finally proof itself useful by transporting me to Ikea for my meatballs! I have lots of meatballs, lots of them. But because Mag have trick me into buying 10 meatballs instead of 5. Which cause a huge catastrophe to happen, I COULDN'T FINISH MY MEATBALLS! I shall and will hold the grudge on Mag for this for as long as meatballs exist.
Apparently calling Feliz to come to the meatballs rescue was a mistake. She just end up chasing us to pack those meatballs up because she have rush back to her mum's office before the jam in the so called "big apple" of Malaysia begin. Don't worry. We did make it back on time. Oh, almost forgot, Feliz brought a poodle (puppy) along with her when she was "coming to the rescue". I have to say, the puppy is really obedient. She can just snuggle up to any of our thighs and just sit there looking around. She don't even bark much. I think I am falling in love with her... Looking forward for her company tonight during our sleepover.
As for night plans, well its simple, 1 word, EUPHORIA! That story shall be in the next post... Stay tuned! ^_^
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Another should-not-be-existing day...
Slept at 6 this MORNING. Woke up 2 hours ago. All thanks to Mag! Hate being woken up by phone call. Then worse, saw something that I wouldn't want to see in the morning. A wrong message send by Dave. It was supposedly to be send to a certain someone. As for now, I am on my bed again. In front of my notebook. Trying to find some entertainment, which is clearly a failure. Suppose to be in Starbizz today. I will go later. (I think) If not my mum will start nagging again.
January Holidays Plan!
When out tonight with Mag... Both of us are so lifeless! Haha! She is too bored staying at home everyday with no internet, I am too bored staying at home everyday too but I have internet. Anyhow, I am still bored. Nothing else to do. Well I'm just too lazy to do anything that involve moving more than my fingers. I sound SO LAZY!
I force her to get a drink at Starbucks today. I want the 2010 planner so badly. For what? I don't know. I just never had it before. So I want it! I got it, thanks to my mum for yesterday's hot chocolate and Mag for buying a drink today. We sat at MP Starbucks for an hour talking about all kinds of things. Well, most of it are kind of kinky. I mean it is normal when you put me and Mag together. That is usual the result.
For what I have done for these few days, well, I decided to have a vacation with the girls! Me, Mag and Feliz! I wanted to go Singapore with Mag at first, but money issue came up and miss Maggie does not have a passport... Moving on. Then I suggested Penang, which we both agree on too. Here comes the but. BUT, I realise with my mum's sudden questioning, that my holidays end on the 18th. So that would mean no time to plan. How sad right?
Not to worry. I came up with the last resort. Vacation De Le Damansara! Yup! Going up to KL this Thursday! With Mag of course, coming back with her too. (please pray for me anyone who reads this, pray that she won't bail on me last minute) We, include me, Mag and Feliz, are spending hopefully two nights at Mag's house in Kota Damansara! I am not putting too much hope in it. Every time I put too much hope everything usually came down crashing.
I love how the plan is so random. Out of the blues. LOVE IT!
P.S. Dave doesn't know about this. I don't want his brother or his parents or worst HIM, thinks that I go up there for him. That, I am clingy. I wasn't thinking about him at all when I plan this. I dare to post this up is because he never reads my blog. Advantages! Hehe! So please.... Shh....
I force her to get a drink at Starbucks today. I want the 2010 planner so badly. For what? I don't know. I just never had it before. So I want it! I got it, thanks to my mum for yesterday's hot chocolate and Mag for buying a drink today. We sat at MP Starbucks for an hour talking about all kinds of things. Well, most of it are kind of kinky. I mean it is normal when you put me and Mag together. That is usual the result.
For what I have done for these few days, well, I decided to have a vacation with the girls! Me, Mag and Feliz! I wanted to go Singapore with Mag at first, but money issue came up and miss Maggie does not have a passport... Moving on. Then I suggested Penang, which we both agree on too. Here comes the but. BUT, I realise with my mum's sudden questioning, that my holidays end on the 18th. So that would mean no time to plan. How sad right?
Not to worry. I came up with the last resort. Vacation De Le Damansara! Yup! Going up to KL this Thursday! With Mag of course, coming back with her too. (please pray for me anyone who reads this, pray that she won't bail on me last minute) We, include me, Mag and Feliz, are spending hopefully two nights at Mag's house in Kota Damansara! I am not putting too much hope in it. Every time I put too much hope everything usually came down crashing.
I love how the plan is so random. Out of the blues. LOVE IT!
P.S. Dave doesn't know about this. I don't want his brother or his parents or worst HIM, thinks that I go up there for him. That, I am clingy. I wasn't thinking about him at all when I plan this. I dare to post this up is because he never reads my blog. Advantages! Hehe! So please.... Shh....
Friday, January 1, 2010
Here comes 2010...
Grieving is all I could express right now, or maybe for the whole coming month. Although I have never thought of how "the day" would come. It can be illustrate in a blink of an eye or just a moment of rain in the desert.
I am happy for him. Proud of him. But I can't help myself by feeling sad. I know it would make it harder for him to go in peace. I feel terrible too. Deep down, a part in my heart keep telling me to stay strong. It is just a part of all the obstacle that we have to face in the future. Which are yet come.
If irrevocably is a irreversible word literally. I would still use it to describe my feelings towards him, without thinking about the consequences. I have always wished I have better vocabs. There is so many mix emotions in me that I have no words to portray.
Its the 1st day of 2010. I know I should not be posting sad story. Kinda lame right? The way I welcome 2010? Well for me it is a beginning of a horror, sorrow and empty nightmare. So its kind of hard for me to find a reason to celebrate. Sorry guys...
I am happy for him. Proud of him. But I can't help myself by feeling sad. I know it would make it harder for him to go in peace. I feel terrible too. Deep down, a part in my heart keep telling me to stay strong. It is just a part of all the obstacle that we have to face in the future. Which are yet come.
If irrevocably is a irreversible word literally. I would still use it to describe my feelings towards him, without thinking about the consequences. I have always wished I have better vocabs. There is so many mix emotions in me that I have no words to portray.
Its the 1st day of 2010. I know I should not be posting sad story. Kinda lame right? The way I welcome 2010? Well for me it is a beginning of a horror, sorrow and empty nightmare. So its kind of hard for me to find a reason to celebrate. Sorry guys...
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