You are in denial

First of all, I am tired. Tired of constantly having the need to answer to someone. To explain myself. What am I doing? Who am I with? When am I going home? What time am I eating? Where did I go for lunch? Why am I going do dinner with whoever? My phone is constantly buzzing but with very tiring questions about my every move. Am I complaining now? Yes. Why? Because I am tired. I am so very tired. 

Another, confusion should be my middle name. Just when I thought I am done figuring myself in that aspect, my mind and heart will come in and screw things up. I am tired of that too. 

Is this why I was not angry? Is it because I am just as horrible anyway? Is it because I am just as low? Some secrets you just can't say it out loud, because it cuts even you yourself. The moment when you realize something about yourself that is so sad but it would probably end up like that either way. I get it now. Why Daisy didn't look back. Why she ran away. Why she broke his heart. Because at the end of the day, you already know who you are, is just that you find it hard to come to terms with it. So bottom line, this is not confusion. This is denial. This is avoiding. This is shame. This is the truth.