Do you believe in fate??? Do you believe in destiny??? I heard that a friend of my best friend's best friend ask her this question and her answer is that she don't believes it. She believes that our lives is not sculpture from the day we were born. Our lives is made entirely from our own choices and the way we walk life. She disagree strongly about this matter.
Me??? Half i guess. Is true that fate and destiny exist. Because sometimes we really don't have a choice of who we meet and which family we will be in... There might be a lot of things that are form by the choices that we made. But some how, some part of our lives is already been sculpture from the day we were born. In my opinion, i think what we are fated made us stronger. Because we can't change what we have been fated to have or be with. So we learn how to embrace it and live with it. Things that we are fated to live with might be really suck-ish. I mean who doesn't want to have a prefect live. Living your dream. Being able to do what you want. Having the power to create your own destiny. But some part of our lives, we just can't.
To all the people and friends out there that are embracing their own fate and destiny. And go through it no matter how many flaws there is. You all are the best! You all suck -up all the problems you have and still living a happy life no matter how horrid your life can be. You should be proud of yourself. And i personally thinks you all are an inspiration to all human being that are still trying to find the light in their life. CHEERS TO ALL OF YOU!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
I doubt myself....
He doubt me... I understand that. I doubt myself too. But i don't want to be doubt. Somehow i guess that won't happen. I would be doubt by him or others... Because of what i have done in my pass.... I don't know how to face him now. I am not answering his calls. I miss him very much. But i don't wanna talk to him. I miss his voice and hugs terribly but i don't wanna see him. There is a part in me that is so dominant of wanting to make him not doubt me anymore.... I want to prove to him. I am not to be doubt anymore. I don't want to see him. I want him to see me. To see what i am doing. To see what i am now, what i am going to be.... I don't want him to doubt me......
Friday, April 24, 2009
Some one get me into this..... And i am stupid enough to follow....
1. The person that tagged you is:
TOH MING ANN!!!!!!
2. Your relationship with him is:
a very very good friend
3. Your first impression of him is:
ermmm.... sorry... i kinda thought he don't like girls
4. The most memorable moments with him:
talking wif him for almost 4 hours during the midnight (due to lack of sleep the next day, both of us look like zombie) (but thats normal for him)
5. The most memorable thing he has said to you is:
"It does not matter what you have done or doing, you will always be my friend and a part of me."
6. If he becomes your lover, you will:
ermm... i don't know... i don't get the question... What does it mean by "you will????"
7. If he became your lover, what should he improve at:
his sarcasm towards people...
8. If he becomes your enemy, what would you do:
cry.... and eventually be the saddest person on earth...
9. If he becomes your enemy, the reason will be:
i have been an total idiot and done crap things....
10.The most desired thing you want to do for him now is:
get him settled down for further studies... but i know that is very impossible...
11. Your overall impression on him:
crazy friend.... wanna know more read one of my post dedicated to him... "For YOU!!!"
12. The characteristic you love most about yourself:
i can go crazy when i need to.... just let myself free...
13. The characteristic you hate most about yourself:
i cared too much smetimes....
14. The most ideal person you want to be is:
errmm.... no one... i love myself.... i wanna be myself!
15. For people that care and like you, say something to them:
you guys are awesome but unfortunately stupid at the same time.... because how could you guys ever care and like a girl like me!!!!????? But anyhow... you guys are still the best and i love you all!!!!!
16. Pass this quiz to 10 people who you want to know how they feel about you:
1. david teo (he is in ns, but whatever)
2. angela ong (i wonder what is her reaction to see-ing this???)
3. joyesh (i know if he have a blog, he will be doing this, then call me idiot)
4. miko (my cousin)
5. ming ming (just for fun)
6. amanda (haha she don't have a blog either)
7. ivan (i am just dreaming about this)
8. johnathan teo (i am dreaming about this too)
9. jason tan (my ex...)
10. wee sheng (my another ex.....)
17. Who is 6 having a relationship with:
he is not in here.... but no 3 is her ex...
18. is 9 a male or female:
male.... a cute 1 too....
19. If 7 and 10 were together, would it be a good thing
it might...i don't mind them being gay... but they wont be able to stand each other....
20. What is 2 studying at the moment:
i got no idea.... havent contact her for a very very long time....
21. When was the last time you had a chat with 3:
yesterday if i am not wrong....
22. What kind of music does 8 like:
i am not sure.... actually i don't know... i think anything in a band and acoustic song with guitar....
23. Does 1 have any siblings:
yes.... is no 8.... his big brother....
24. Will you woo 3:
i don't know what does woo means....but i think i probably do it... unless if its something to do with relationship and touchin him.....
25. How about 7:
what does that mean????? Izzit woo????
26. Is 4 single:
erm...it's complicated....
27. What's the surname of 5:
tan.... this is a weird question...
28. What's the hobby of 5:
ermm....i think probably hanging out with her boyfriend.....(try asking no 10, is her boyfriend, maybe he knows....but i doubt it....)
29. Do 5 and 9 get along well:
they don't know each other.....
30. Where is 2 studying at:
isn't this question same with question no 20???? why ask again????
31. Say something casual about your eyes:
i have double eye lit.... (i think i said the right thing, if i don't..... whatever)
32. Have you tried developing feelings for 5?
err....she is my sister...... (ok, not blood related)
33. Where does 9 live:
klebang, melaka.....
34. What colours does 4 like:
i think white..... and red....
35. Are 5 and 1 good friends
nope..... they are friends i guess but not good friends....
36. Does 7 like 2:
haha.... i don't have answer to that... either way of answering to it i will still get my butt kick.... so i don't know....
37. How did you get to know 2:
same school, same class, same tuition......
38. Does 1 have any pets:
yup.... 3 cats.... but if we ever get married 1 day.... i am getting a dog!
39. Is 7 the sexiest person in the world:
OMG!!!!!! haha.... maybe not to me.... he is still good looking though.... after all he is my ex....
This is a very lame but soothing way to relax...... Still it is STUPID!!!!!
TOH MING ANN!!!!!!
2. Your relationship with him is:
a very very good friend
3. Your first impression of him is:
ermmm.... sorry... i kinda thought he don't like girls
4. The most memorable moments with him:
talking wif him for almost 4 hours during the midnight (due to lack of sleep the next day, both of us look like zombie) (but thats normal for him)
5. The most memorable thing he has said to you is:
"It does not matter what you have done or doing, you will always be my friend and a part of me."
6. If he becomes your lover, you will:
ermm... i don't know... i don't get the question... What does it mean by "you will????"
7. If he became your lover, what should he improve at:
his sarcasm towards people...
8. If he becomes your enemy, what would you do:
cry.... and eventually be the saddest person on earth...
9. If he becomes your enemy, the reason will be:
i have been an total idiot and done crap things....
10.The most desired thing you want to do for him now is:
get him settled down for further studies... but i know that is very impossible...
11. Your overall impression on him:
crazy friend.... wanna know more read one of my post dedicated to him... "For YOU!!!"
12. The characteristic you love most about yourself:
i can go crazy when i need to.... just let myself free...
13. The characteristic you hate most about yourself:
i cared too much smetimes....
14. The most ideal person you want to be is:
errmm.... no one... i love myself.... i wanna be myself!
15. For people that care and like you, say something to them:
you guys are awesome but unfortunately stupid at the same time.... because how could you guys ever care and like a girl like me!!!!????? But anyhow... you guys are still the best and i love you all!!!!!
16. Pass this quiz to 10 people who you want to know how they feel about you:
1. david teo (he is in ns, but whatever)
2. angela ong (i wonder what is her reaction to see-ing this???)
3. joyesh (i know if he have a blog, he will be doing this, then call me idiot)
4. miko (my cousin)
5. ming ming (just for fun)
6. amanda (haha she don't have a blog either)
7. ivan (i am just dreaming about this)
8. johnathan teo (i am dreaming about this too)
9. jason tan (my ex...)
10. wee sheng (my another ex.....)
17. Who is 6 having a relationship with:
he is not in here.... but no 3 is her ex...
18. is 9 a male or female:
male.... a cute 1 too....
19. If 7 and 10 were together, would it be a good thing
it might...i don't mind them being gay... but they wont be able to stand each other....
20. What is 2 studying at the moment:
i got no idea.... havent contact her for a very very long time....
21. When was the last time you had a chat with 3:
yesterday if i am not wrong....
22. What kind of music does 8 like:
i am not sure.... actually i don't know... i think anything in a band and acoustic song with guitar....
23. Does 1 have any siblings:
yes.... is no 8.... his big brother....
24. Will you woo 3:
i don't know what does woo means....but i think i probably do it... unless if its something to do with relationship and touchin him.....
25. How about 7:
what does that mean????? Izzit woo????
26. Is 4 single:
erm...it's complicated....
27. What's the surname of 5:
tan.... this is a weird question...
28. What's the hobby of 5:
ermm....i think probably hanging out with her boyfriend.....(try asking no 10, is her boyfriend, maybe he knows....but i doubt it....)
29. Do 5 and 9 get along well:
they don't know each other.....
30. Where is 2 studying at:
isn't this question same with question no 20???? why ask again????
31. Say something casual about your eyes:
i have double eye lit.... (i think i said the right thing, if i don't..... whatever)
32. Have you tried developing feelings for 5?
err....she is my sister...... (ok, not blood related)
33. Where does 9 live:
klebang, melaka.....
34. What colours does 4 like:
i think white..... and red....
35. Are 5 and 1 good friends
nope..... they are friends i guess but not good friends....
36. Does 7 like 2:
haha.... i don't have answer to that... either way of answering to it i will still get my butt kick.... so i don't know....
37. How did you get to know 2:
same school, same class, same tuition......
38. Does 1 have any pets:
yup.... 3 cats.... but if we ever get married 1 day.... i am getting a dog!
39. Is 7 the sexiest person in the world:
OMG!!!!!! haha.... maybe not to me.... he is still good looking though.... after all he is my ex....
This is a very lame but soothing way to relax...... Still it is STUPID!!!!!
Monday, April 13, 2009
For YOU!
I have a friend. We know each other through my ex-boyfriend. He is a guy. We don't really speak to each other in the beginning. I mean my ex is kinda the...... guy..... Well you know what i mean. So i broke-up with my ex, ok wait, he broke-up with me and then me and this guy started to bond. We became great friend. He is very very smart. I am serious. Very smart. He is a little bit pathetic sometimes. Other than that, he has been a great friend. He would accompany me at night when i cant sleep or just for some stupid reasons. He can get mad just because i said sorry too many times. I did mistake. I should say sorry. But he would still scold me for it. He would stay up just to make sure i sleep early even if he have to work morning tomorrow. He listen to all my complains about who know what stupid things i am saying. And he never once stop me from doing that. When i am with my boyfriend, i don't really have time to sms or reply him. But he never once get mad on me. Maybe he is angry, he just never shows it. Anyway, me and my boyfriend is very glad that we have him as our friend.
I know you would be reading. And if you are, wait i mean you would. Then you should know that you are important. To me. You are great friend, a silly guy with a crazily crafted mind, and i would never want to lose you.
I know you would be reading. And if you are, wait i mean you would. Then you should know that you are important. To me. You are great friend, a silly guy with a crazily crafted mind, and i would never want to lose you.
A partially broken friendship....
For a person that doesn't really believe in God. I am definitely being bless with lots of things. I don't know whether i should be happy or sad or frustrated or ANYTHING. She mean a lot to me. I have already almost lost a sister. I don't wish to lose another. Both of them have walk me through lots of crappy and silly stuff in my life. But i don't really care about how crappy and silly those moments are. I just remember that they are there. No matter what. Laughing, crying, hugging and even cursing together. Who cares what people think right?? When you have the most important people in your life holding your hands and walk you through it.
My elder sister is a great person. A bit temper of course. (who doesn't have) But she is still great. She might not have all the experience in life. And might not always know what to advice me when i come to her with the most weirdest and childish problem. But she is still there, just holding the phone and listen to me cry. Listen to me complain about my so-call-pathetic life. It just make me feel so stupid thinking back. Haha...
My little sister is a ....... CRAZY girl. Me and her have a more complicated relationship than me and my elder sister. We have been schoolmate since primary school. We are not really good friends then. Everything started at Form 3. She is not the most prefect sister. You might even have a huge headache talking to her sometimes. (she can eat your mind) Haha.... She might have also like some really unsuitable guys in the past. But that doesn't matter. No one is prefect. Not even me. I have made some really stupid mistake of mine too. The point is, she has been a really awesome sister to me. When i am sad, i call her, i will cry. But she don't give a damn. Nothing can make her stop saying silly things just to make me smile and laugh like hell. She would go at any length to make me not sane and just go crazy and remind me what my propose in life is. Live life to the fullest everyday.
Three of us have gone through many obstacle in our friendship. We sometimes get influence by what others says and we did something that hurt our friendship. A year ago, something very unpleasant happen. I am not blaming anyone for what that has happen.Because that would not do any good. The incident have shaken our friendship. And now it is partially broken. My elder sister is trying to find herself on her own. I respect that and i know we all have to go through that stage in our life somehow. My little sister, she is facing college. It is tough but i know she can hang in there. She will blend in. But that is also probably the most scariest thing i am facing right now. She will blend in. I don't want to say much. in case i offend anyone. I just wish history does not repeat the THIRD time....
P.S The comment really stunned me. It caught me off guard. I thought you know me. Out of all the people.....
My elder sister is a great person. A bit temper of course. (who doesn't have) But she is still great. She might not have all the experience in life. And might not always know what to advice me when i come to her with the most weirdest and childish problem. But she is still there, just holding the phone and listen to me cry. Listen to me complain about my so-call-pathetic life. It just make me feel so stupid thinking back. Haha...
My little sister is a ....... CRAZY girl. Me and her have a more complicated relationship than me and my elder sister. We have been schoolmate since primary school. We are not really good friends then. Everything started at Form 3. She is not the most prefect sister. You might even have a huge headache talking to her sometimes. (she can eat your mind) Haha.... She might have also like some really unsuitable guys in the past. But that doesn't matter. No one is prefect. Not even me. I have made some really stupid mistake of mine too. The point is, she has been a really awesome sister to me. When i am sad, i call her, i will cry. But she don't give a damn. Nothing can make her stop saying silly things just to make me smile and laugh like hell. She would go at any length to make me not sane and just go crazy and remind me what my propose in life is. Live life to the fullest everyday.
Three of us have gone through many obstacle in our friendship. We sometimes get influence by what others says and we did something that hurt our friendship. A year ago, something very unpleasant happen. I am not blaming anyone for what that has happen.Because that would not do any good. The incident have shaken our friendship. And now it is partially broken. My elder sister is trying to find herself on her own. I respect that and i know we all have to go through that stage in our life somehow. My little sister, she is facing college. It is tough but i know she can hang in there. She will blend in. But that is also probably the most scariest thing i am facing right now. She will blend in. I don't want to say much. in case i offend anyone. I just wish history does not repeat the THIRD time....
P.S The comment really stunned me. It caught me off guard. I thought you know me. Out of all the people.....
Sunday, April 12, 2009
A cut that never seem to heal.....
I am sad. Deep in me i am hurt by what you have done. But it does not matter to you anymore. I am no one to you. Not even a friend. That is how you are. Maybe i did do mistake and be selfish about us. But i cannot think of a reasonable reason why are you acting this way towards me. All the words.... Now you are saying to her. I am not jealous. I just dont understand how you move on so fast. If you say i did the same to you, then you are wrong. I never say i love you more than a friend. I like you. When i am with you, i have always been truthful. I guess you just dont see it in your eyes. I dont blame you. A girl like me is very hard to trust. I never make my choice from what "THE MARKET" is offering. I make my choice from my heart. And i love him. That is why i am with him. I am very happy that you found someone. At least you are cheerful again. I guess me and you are just like that, friend, no friend, friend again and finally no friend. I just want you to know that i treasure you alot. More than other people think i should. You would always be my friend no matter what happen. Finally, I AM SORRY!
Monday, April 6, 2009
I care too much......
I am not shock of what you are saying. But i am stunned. You are living in your own world. I never tell anyone about the relationship. Not just you. They ask i answer. They never ask i say nothing. Is just that simple. You posted a comment on his page. I assume you know. I am sorry that would my fault. I should not have assume. You promise something to me. And as usual, you never keep it. Is not his fault that you think i am a fake to you. So why drag him in???? I do care for you. You got no idea how many people just ask me to stop caring so much about you. But never listen. I guess i have to bare with the result now....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)