I forgot....

I forgot when was the last time you called me just because you miss my voice,
I forgot when was the last time you called me just because you were thinking about me,
I forgot when was the last time you called me just to say hi,
I forgot when was the last time you called me to say good night without me telling you to do so,
I forgot when was the last time you called me just because you suddenly have a hunch that I am sad,
I forgot when was the last time you called me just because you wanted to,
I forgot when the last time we talked for hours on the phone was,
I forgot when was the last time you stay up just to hear me cry because I am sad,
I forgot when was the last time I had fun with you when we go out,

But…

I remember when the last time I cried alone in my room was,
I remember when the last time I wanted you to called so badly that it hurt so much,
I remember when was the last time I stare at the phone whole day wondering when are you going to call or message me,
I remember when was the last time I wanted us to hang out happily,
I remember when was the last time I called you at night because I was too tired waiting for you to call,
I remember when was the last time I waited hours for you to reply my message,
I remember when was the last time I felt so tired of all these that I wanted to quit,


I look at each day pass wondering where this relationship is heading. Then I realise I am going down the same road as I was last time that leads me here. I don’t want to go back that road. If this continues, I am sorry if I have to go… I just don’t want to be the only person who cares or show that she cares in a relationship. I am so tired to be that person! I know how much it would kill me if I leave you, I can already feel the pain by even thinking about the days without you. But I am sorry I can’t do this either. It is a dead-end either way. I have reached the relationship dead-end lots of times, so this time, I want to go for my own. Even if its hurts more…